Psalm 61:2

"What do you think was your character flaw?" I had not seen my friend, Adair, in over a year and this was the first question she asked after the crowd dissipated and there were only three of us left. I'm always impressed that God takes me to "home" to hear questions like this - questions that are never easy to answer and lead to days of pondering, prayer, and reconciliation.
"I was sad," was my response. Not exactly a character flaw, but I was telling the truth; sadness was certainly the condition in which I placed myself for most of my adolescence. It was no one's fault but my own. And I'm thankful that I can take a step back and see how It is God who has completed me, Who dominates my heart, and fills me with His Spirit so that I feel like if I were to be bumped, It is He Who would pour out of me. That is my hope anyway.
But the character flaw question I'm still having a hard time with. I trusted the wrong people, for sure. I misstepped and had a quick tongue. I alienated myself from people because I was scared of what they might teach me. All the while these thoughts occur to me, a voice keeps saying, "You can't think of one not because you didn't have any - you had many - but because you are forgiven and are living anew in Me."
One of the greatest blessings of my job comes in the form of my friend, Charsie, who comes by at the same time everyday to interrupt my science lessons, during which I'm usually accidentally misinforming my students on the ways of the world. Charsie and I come from very different backgrounds and have led very contrasting lives. But each morning, when I get to school, she is the first one I speak to and praise God, our words often turn to what He is doing in our lives! We recently started the Bible study David: 90 Days with a Heart Like His. It is only Day 7 and already I feel the Lord working in me! What a blessing it is to meet with a friend daily to exchange how we are gaining intimacy with the Lord through His word.
This all brings me to a verse that I came across in my reading:

From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint;

lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

That, folks, is my character flaw. A reluctance to call out; a tendency to believe that I can handle life on my own. I did it my entire adolescence...I cried out not to my Lord and Savior, who I invited into my life when I was six years old, but to people who could do nothing for me because they are not Him. I am not Him. I am not a Rock.

Recumbency. I first came across this word in a Bible study, Becoming a Woman of Grace. The word encompasses the Puritan belief that true reliance on God means to, lie down, face to the ground, on the Solid Rock. I've referred to Seneca Hills in my blog before and my last visit there coincided with an awesome spiritual event that sparked my journey down this road of really praying that God would change my heart into one like His. I walked down to the creek ("crick" if you're in western Pennsylvania) and picked up a smooth rock. I held it in my hand for the 13 hour drive back to Charleston and prayed for the first time that I would let God lead. I commited there, driving my Jeep, with a smooth rock in my hand, to lie down. To fully submit. And to let the Lord be Lord. Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.