So I was on my way to bed...in bed, actually...tossing and turning as I have been known to do of late. I used to be a champion sleeper. Once my head hit the pillow, I was out. Now in order to get settled, I have to have Weezie in the bed with me. She is large and takes up lots of space. But somehow her presence, her snoring, that disgusting second eyelid that shows when she's almost asleep...those things are very comforting to me.
My life has been a little stressful. A friend of mine said that I am in a place of transition, even though I'm not really moving anywhere. I thought that was a good idea. Tonight I did not want to toss and turn, so I clicked on the lamp and pulled out my Bible and the study I'm currently (slowly...not as regularly as I should be) working on, Becoming a Woman of Purpose. And before I read anything, I found myself praising God. Just for His presence. I have cried out to Him more in the past month than I can remember for a long time...I've been impatient, frustrated, exhausted, confused, desperate...and yet through it all, I feel His presence, His hand guiding me, His love calming my restless heart. I only read a little of my Bible study because I flipped open the book and immediately read something from my main man (second only to Myron Cope, r.i.p.), Oswald Chambers:
by the reaction of your life on the circumstances around you, you will fulfil God's purpose, as long as you keep in the light as God is in the light...
I don't feel like I've been light for much of anyone lately. I've been snippy with my kids, annoyed with my friends, at my wits' end with the general public. How are my reactions on the circumstances around me showing Christ's love? Are they at all? February was a long month, literally. The fact that this is a leap year was really just a kick in the pants. But the old is gone, the new has come. And I pray that I would continue to feel God's presence and that others see Him through me.
Now it is time to wake the beast...to shove over the 55 pound mongrel who snores next to me...and to rest in God.
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
Psalm 62:5-6
On my bed, I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.
Psalm 63:6-8
