Intertwined

I love this picture. And I'm not even in it! But lots of my friends from camp are tagged and I've enjoyed reading their "conversation" about each other on facebook.
I've really been studying this picture. It seems like at Seneca, folks just tend to sort of pile on top of one another when someone grabs a camera! And there's this affection that is so evident in the photographs (not just this one, I have lots like this from the summers I worked) that you really understand that the people pictured genuinely like one another.
Intertwined.
I was having a really bad night about twenty minutes ago. My cell phone was about to be disconnected because I live paycheck to paycheck, and this month, Sprint does not get paid. I'm working my boonkie (thank you public school for that classy word) off working on our school yearbook and trying to pass my boards. I worry about my students. I feel like there's just not enough time...
And then I look at this picture. And what I realize I want...need...more than anything else, is to feel intertwined. I haven't felt that way in a really long time. To feel such a great affection from others that it just seeps through the skin and makes everything ok, if just for that moment.

Father, thank you for the constant reminder that as I seek to feel connected to others, You seek to feel connected to me. When I become overwhelmed by the things of this world, remove me from it. Seep into my skin, that I might feel the calm security that comes only from You.

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Self-Control

A follow up...
I do not look like Jennifer Garner. In fact, I don't look like anyone in Hollywood and on some mornings with my mullet, I'm not so sure that I even look like myself. Needless to say, the haircut did not turn out as planned. Despite the two photographs and the detailed description of my expectations, I walked out of Anne's Hair de Jour (can't really remember the name of the place) looking more like a character from My Name is Earl. And not any of the pretty ones.
Oh well. Hair grows. And thanks to the genes from my mother's side of the family, hair grows quickly!
I spent a really fun weekend at my parents' house and got all up in their Weight Watchers business. I am happy to report that with the combination of eating a little less and counting points and calling my parents when I don't know what I'm doing, I've lost 3 pounds in a week!
Still no beer, only a few thin mints, and (brace yourselves) even some exercise. I'm starting to believe that the friction caused by my thighs rubbing together will in fact not set me on fire, which has been a bit of a fear of mine for the last couple months!
The journey continues...

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Getting My Hair Did and Other Important Changes

Alright. It's time for a change. In my constant effort to become a better person all around, I've commenced the process of making some pretty significant adjustments in my life. I think that if I put them out there for all of two people to read, then maybe I'll stick with things. So, here it is...a bit of a confession, I guess.

1. I am no longer "living in the 'loft." My physician and nurse-friend, Shannon, are going to kill me because I decided to stop taking Zoloft without discussing the matter with a medical expert first. I've been on the good stuff for about a year and while it has helped me deal with stress tremendously, it has also led to some tremendous weight gain. I've been off for about four weeks and so far, so good. I have not killed or threatened to kill anyone. I have not kicked my dog. Why, I haven't even cried at something ridiculous.
2. I am no longer keeping beer in the house or putting myself in compromising situations in which alcohol is easily available. I tend to act like a complete idiot when I'm drinking and do not always set the greatest example for others while enjoying a cold brew, so I've really cut back. No beer in almost two weeks. Hoorah.
3. I am eating much healthier food than in the past. Even though my brother insists on setting Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and powdered doughnuts in obvious places in the kitchen, I am really making an effort not to partake. Instead, snacking on edamame and tomatoes...not so bad.

Why the changes, you may wonder? Well, the big reason is that for the first time in my life ever, I've considered my weight as "an issue." There are some mornings that I'm so bloated that I cannot see my feet. I happen to like my feet. And I've really been missing them. I weigh almost thirty pounds more than my brother. Holy smokes. And my parents, my personal heros, are participating in Weight Watchers together and are losing buckets of weight. They're pretty inspiring. So here are the hard facts. My current weight is........148.4....not exactly a Biblical number. I'm hoping to lose 20 over the next few months and to eventually be able to bend over and tie my shoes without blacking out. I should say now that I HATE exercise. Weezie and have taken up long strolls through the neighborhood, but with a dog who stops to pee on every other blade of grass, I'm not sure how productive those walks are.

A few changes more. I'm getting my hair did this weekend. Very excited. The first picture below is the color I'm going for. The second is the cut. Why Jennifer Garner, you ask? Turns out, she has the thickest head of hair in Hollywood, much like I have the thickest head of hair in the South.

So, the fun has begun. Wish me luck.

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My Eggs are in the Millvale Basket

I imagine that anyone who knows me figures that I spend anytime I'm not at school staring at my facebook page. And while this is somedays true, I thought that I might enlighten my readers on how I actually spend my free time (**I actually have no free time, but because I'm working on my boards again: procrastination, but somehow manage to find completely unproductive things to do just the same).

I really hope and pray to someday be a homeowner. And I'm trying to work it out with God that maybe I can be a homeowner in the greater Pittsburgh area, specifically, Millvale.

I do not live in Pittsburgh.

I have no job in Pittsburgh.

I have not enough money for a downpayment.

My credit is so terrible that I probably wouldn't be approved for a loan anyway.

But all of that aside, here is my house. 114 Beckert. It's a fixer-upper (thank you, HGTV).

Here's the living room, where I plan on spending most of my time redoing the fireplace. I've watched all of these grouting/mortar techniques on HGTV that are really quite inspiring.

I've even picked out the tile to remodel the fireplace. It has lots of deep reds, blues, and greens that match the frames I painted last summer with all of my old family pictures (Grandpa Sherbine sledding in Summer Hill, Pap in the shirt Grandma made him holding onto his catch of the day). Of course, the carpet looks pretty terrible. But I can live with that until I win the lottery and can put down dark hardwood floors.

Here's the kitchen. I can't really understand the layout from the photos online. I do know that the rose colored walls could never work for me, so I'm thinking some sort of metallic blue.

So, that's my new house. I'm pretty excited about it. But really, I'm more distracted by it. Now all I need is a job. And some money. And a loan approval. And the guarantee that this structure is not in the "flood zone" like all of the other structures in Millvale, the reason that there are so many cheap properties available in the first place.

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General Randomness

My typical Saturday mornings consist of a trip to the grocery store, filling up my gas tank, and cleaning up around the house. Yesterday was totally not the norm. Instead, I lay in a dark room on a heated bed while Monica rubbed all over me. There was relaxing music, a waterfall somewhere, and I was (almost) completely naked. That's right, folks, my first massage...ever. I lay there thinking up all of the things I could that would keep me from going to sleep because I didn't want to miss out on any of the excitement. Here are some of the thoughts that went through my head.

1. I really hope that this peppermint does not fall out of my mouth and get stuck to the sheets.

2. I really hope that this peppermint does not get lodged in my windpipe and that I choke to death during my first ever massage.

3. There is NO possible way that there are only 2 hands working out the kinks in my back. I'm pretty sure that there are five more people in here and I just cannot see them.

4. Monica truly has a gift. There are so many people who have jobs that are purely those of service. I am thankful that I got to spend an hour on the receiving end!

5. Monica is at Cloud 9 Spa on Maybank Highway. Go see her. You will not regret it.

On Monday, my sweet sister, Karen will spend her morning in a CAT scan machine. When I am with her, I am totally amazed that this kid who wasn't supposed to survive now radiates what it means to be alive...not in a breathing-and-has-a-pulse sense, but truly live...soaking up every once of goodness in the world and passing it along to everyone she meets. I get to spend a long weekend with her in a few weeks. I am so excited to cuddle with her and receive her kisses.
Today is the Super Bowl. I am so excited that I cannot nap. For a bit, I thought that I would be in Pittsburgh watching the game with friends. But after much thought and the knowledge that I'm making a genuine attempt to make financially responsible decisions, I am here instead. So, in an effort to entertain myself (and to convince the world that I am a total freak - as if any more convincing were required), my "friends" have joined me in Charleston for the festivities. Enjoy the pictures!

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