Ruin Me

So once again, I've gone over a month...almost two...without blogging. And it once again isn't because nothing exciting has happened. But I've failed in being introspective of late and have instead thrown myself into work and my kiddos. My blog isn't the only thing that's missing out on attention. I picked up my Bible and my Beth Moore study the other night and blew a month's worth of dust off the top.

Pretty pitiful on my part.

But glorious on God's part. When I got home one day last week, there was a number on the caller id from "Pennsylvania." How cool that an entire Commonwealth would call?! Imagine my joy when I listened to the voicemail from Pittsburgh Public requesting an interview...an interview that I have prayed for and waited on for more than a year. And yet, I am consumed with my kids in Charleston. And as much as I want to, I cannot be consumed with the children of Pittsburgh right now. So, I'll interview in May...

God has always worked on me to teach me how to wait. How my timeline is so much more imperfect than His. And that by trusting Him, He will make things happen...in His time.

I think that the phone call last week was from My Father, more than from the Commonwealth. A message saying, "Hey you. Where've you been? I'm still working on you, whether you spend time with Me or not. I miss you."

Well, here I am, Lord. Your servant is listening, willing to follow where You are leading, on your timeline and not my own.

The lyrics of Jeff Johnson...my reluctant prayer for some time...

Ruin Me

Woe to me I am unclean

A sinner found in Your presence

I see you seated on Your throne

Exalted, Your Glory surrounds You

Now the plans that I have made

Fail to compare when I see your glory

Ruin my life the plans I have made

Ruin desires for my own selfish gain

Destroy the idols that have taken Your place

'Till its You alone I live for, You alone I live for.

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty !

Holy is the Lord!

Holy Holy is the Lord Almighty!

Holy is the Lord!

I leave you with a prayer request. A dear friend and her husband have been told that they will be parents in early April! This after they were told they would not have children of their own. This after they completed the application process to be foster parents. As delighted as they are, they are both very aware of the level of risk of her pregnancy. Will you join me in praying for health, patience, and trust? Let me know if there's anything I can pray for on your behalf, too. Cheers!

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Sometimes He Comes in the Clouds

I spent the first part of July driving around Western Pennsylvania, enjoying quiet moments (and rowdy moments) with old friends in Pittsburgh, and cherishing time with my parents at the lake house. If you've read my blog at all, you know that my theme for living is to be light. For my students, my friends, my family, random people I meet on the street. In my continued study of David, a warrior king who wanted nothing more than to go where God lead him, I've learned that my heart requires constant alteration in order that I may be light to those in need. I was in the car by myself for about 30 hours over the course of ten days. While I sang along with Jeff Johnson and David Crowder most of the way, there were times when I drove quietly...looking, listening.

The last year has been very interesting because it has led to me to completely different place than where I used to be, even though I haven't moved anywhere. I thought for sure that I would be spending this school year in cooler temperatures, surrounded by faithful friends with whom I have a great history - finishing each other's sentences, sharing the details of the Faith Walk, and working in the middle of the inner-city, which I felt called to do when I was 14. I prayed for this move more than I've prayed for anything in my adult life. At the tail-end of the each prayer, I mumbled "...if this is Your will, lead me down your righteous path." And yet here I am. And amazingly enough, I realize that with my Rock leading me, I am on His path. Though I don't know what is around the next bend and I am uncertain of what the final destination is, I am enjoying the walk with my Lord.

I really love summer thunderstorms. In Charleston, you can actually smell them coming before they get here! The thunder, the torrential rain, the sometimes power-killing lightning never lasts long and it's always hotter and muggier after the crash and boom than it was to start. But the constant reminder that weather, life, our circumstances, can turn on a dime and that there is a Consistent One who has my best interests at heart makes me ready and willing to accept His grace.

My God is Mighty to Save. May I never measure an obstacle against my own strength, but against Yours.

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Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop......

So, ten minutes ago, I was sleeping peacefully...listening to my ipod, dreaming about Brad Paisley and Dolly Pardon singing together in Heaven when I was awakened to the sound of a clicking (read: snapping, popping) noise. I thought for sure after a few seconds it would go away, but indeed it did not. This disruption went on for what seemed like forever - of course I had to investigate. So, with my loyal steed at my side, I located the obnoxious culprit at the window above my bed.

Could the screen be slipping out?

Maybe the glass is moving down?

Perhaps my prince charming is just outside, throwing pebbles to wake me up?

Not so much.

Picture this: A 26 year-old female, disheveled hair, wearing nothing but a ratty Air Force t-shirt and Campbell University cotton boxers standing in the front yard trying to figure out what in the Hey Ho has her up and out of bed a night before she has to interview 4 potential candidates for a teaching position. Believe you me, not a pretty sight!

After moments of banging on the outside of my house, the brother came out and announced that there was a bug (read: insect, critter) in the house one day this weekend making a popping sound. Mmmm. So, I did what any red-blooded American did who needs her rest. I grabbed the hose, cranked up the water to "jet spray," soaked the front of the house, and now am going back to sleep - in peace - knowing that if poppy-bug can't swim, he's S.O.L.

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Just because you like Britney doesn't mean that I like Britney

When the school year draws to a close, my life comes to a screeching halt! Praise God! This is the first time that I have done absolutely nothing with myself. I sleep late, go days at a time without showering, and do not a thing to enhance my intellect. I enjoy reading friends' blog updates and continue to pray wholeheartedly for God to open doors so that I can be effective in his ministry. Blessings to everyone. I'll touch base if anything exciting happens:)

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1968

Forty years ago today, my parents started our family. Awesome.

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Glorious Day

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Timing is Everything

So I've thought about blogging a lot over the past two weeks, but I could never think of a topic. Honestly, I've been in survival mode: teachers everywhere know what I'm talking about. When you're approaching a long holiday (or a weekend, for that matter) and your only goal is to make it there without going absolutely insane!

There were a few added obstacles to my "makin' it" this year. Without going into too much detail, there are a handful of folks who disagree with my teaching methods and practices. And that's all fine and dandy. I certainly did not go into my profession thinking that everyone would be happy with what I did all of the time. But what has been different this year is that folks have been really verbal with their disdain...dragging my reputation through the mud. Deliberately saying/writing things to hurt me. I don't think I've ever been faced with that before; people who have a desire to make another person feel bad are not the kinds of folk I tend to spend much time with.

Anyway (thanks for sticking with me if you've read this far), today was the first day in a while that I took time out to listen to God. I've been talking to Him a lot lately - begging Him to heal me, to heal those who aim to hurt me. Today I read about David and Goliath (a favorite story) and how David was ridiculed by his brothers because he'd split his time between tending his father's sheep and being there to battle the Philistines. His brothers questioned his motivations; when have my motivations been questioned?

The first question to direct my prayer and thinking was: Have you ever felt undervalued and unappreciated for what you do and who you are? *See above to read answer to that one.* The second question: How have you felt this sting the sharpest? Wow. Through all of my analyzing of what I did wrong as a teacher this year to make so many parents hate me so much, God slaps me with this realization: like David, who couldn't control how his brothers felt about him; he was just trying to do the right thing...there are times that we all suffer as a result of another person's opinions, words, blogs, etc. Who handles it more gracefully? David? or Kortney?

So what do we do with this? We cry out to Jesus, who said Blessed are you when men hate you, when they exclude you and insult you...rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven.

Sweet. Bring on the insults. My God and I can handle it:)

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